I was going to share a poem with you all today. One that I had written a few years ago and recently found in the deep dark recesses of Facebook. But, I have been thinking lately about how once you put up something on the internet it is no longer yours. All of my words and stories can now be copied and taken by anyone who might stumble across this little blog. Not that the poem I was going to share was worth stealing, but one day if I discovered it posted elsewhere I think my heart would break.
Another thing I have been thinking about is the title of this blog and how I haven't actually been talking about my life as the wife of a grad student. So, maybe I will share a little of what is going on with that now.
My husband is about to take his Candidacy Exam. What the heck is that? (you may ask) It is the first of two big tests he has to take in his program. His second test will be his Comprehensive Exam, and that will be next Spring and much more of a nightmare than this one. That is the one that everyone really freaks out about. Because if you fail that one you may have another chance to take it, but if not, you are done for.
Back to the test at hand. I have absolute and full confidence that my husband is going to rock it. He is a really brilliant man and has so much knowledge about what he is studying. It is rare to see him not have a good response to a question.
So, his test is this Friday and it is hard watching him stress out about this and worry that he won't pass. Also, I'm not really sure how to help him. I am really good at taking care of him; making sure we have food and our house is (relatively) clean (at the very least in a livable state). I do the laundry every now and then. And I do my best to make sure we have dinner every night :) But, these are not things that help him feel confident and ready to face his professors, who often seem to be out for grad student blood.
This is the part of grad school that no one talks about. How can you help your studious spouse when you spend the majority of your time living a completely non-scholastic life? I feel like we live in three different worlds. I live in one, he lives in another, and we share the third. It is hard for both of us to relate to the other one's world because they are so different. Thankfully we have one world we share together and although that world is usually affected by the stresses and difficulties from the other two worlds, we do have some pretty great times. When I look at other grad student couples, I don't know many and it makes sense why, I imagine them having an easy breezy time. Maybe we just don't know how to handle it yet? Maybe we are not mature enough as a couple to have it all figured out? These are things I wonder. But hopefully as time goes on we get better at this (at life?) and become stronger for it.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Sisters
**Listen to THIS while you are reading. It will make the experience more enjoyable :)**
I would like to start off this post saying that I am feeling much better. And even though it is snaiting outside (snow-rain-sleet) and the ground is covered in slushy ice, my spirits are much higher than they have been in awhile. Being in the doldrums this past week has made me realize how negative I can be. I also complain a lot. But, instead of focusing on how I can change and improve myself etc. I would like to talk about how wonderful my sister is.
The highlight of my job is g-chatting with her everyday. It is something we started about a year ago when I began working in an office. It is amazing how much it brightens my day. And although I end up complaining to her and tossing negativity her way through the internet, she is always encouraging and empathizes with all my little problems. It is so fun to share recipes, exercise aspirations, and anything else interesting, or not, that is happening in our lives. On the days we don't chat, I miss her terribly.
I cannot emphasize enough how much I love having a sister. I think everyone should have one, and if you don't I hope you have a sisterly friend. As we have gotten older my sister and I have grown closer. I remember we went through a stage when we were young when we really didn't get along. I remember her telling me to get out of her room and me saying no and battles ensuing of me pushing the door open to get in and her pushing it closed to keep me out. I remember that happening a lot. To be honest I thought she was really cool and wanted to hang out in her room, which was also really cool. (I still remember the awesome bedspread and matching curtains that she had. I think my mom might have made them...)
Thankfully that stage passed and when she went off to college she only became cooler. When she would come home for vacations she would always bring me a bunch of teen magazines, tapes she made of songs on the radio, and videos of MTV music videos. Thinking about it now I am amazed at how much time she put into those presents. To a sheltered teen living in China these were my only link to American culture and I read, listened, and watched them over and over again. They made me feel cool.
My sister has always been concerned about me. It is amazing to be cared for by someone who just wants the best for me and wants me to be happy. She really loves me for who I am. That doesn't mean she doesn't see my faults, and, being my sister, she is not afraid to let me know how I can change. She is not afraid to push me. Often, right out of my comfort zone. But, since she is my sister she can get away with it.
There has never been a time in my life when she hasn't been there for me. I can share everything that is going on in my life with her and I always know that she has my back. It is amazing to me how blessed I am to have her as my sister.I feel like I could go on and on about how amazing she is.
My sister is a wonderful person. She is extremely intelligent, kind, and has such a compassionate heart. She inspires me every day with her love and desire for God. She is brave, adventurous, and I can't wait to see what lies ahead for her. I am so honored to be able to walk next to her through this life.
I love you bean.
I would like to start off this post saying that I am feeling much better. And even though it is snaiting outside (snow-rain-sleet) and the ground is covered in slushy ice, my spirits are much higher than they have been in awhile. Being in the doldrums this past week has made me realize how negative I can be. I also complain a lot. But, instead of focusing on how I can change and improve myself etc. I would like to talk about how wonderful my sister is.
The highlight of my job is g-chatting with her everyday. It is something we started about a year ago when I began working in an office. It is amazing how much it brightens my day. And although I end up complaining to her and tossing negativity her way through the internet, she is always encouraging and empathizes with all my little problems. It is so fun to share recipes, exercise aspirations, and anything else interesting, or not, that is happening in our lives. On the days we don't chat, I miss her terribly.
I cannot emphasize enough how much I love having a sister. I think everyone should have one, and if you don't I hope you have a sisterly friend. As we have gotten older my sister and I have grown closer. I remember we went through a stage when we were young when we really didn't get along. I remember her telling me to get out of her room and me saying no and battles ensuing of me pushing the door open to get in and her pushing it closed to keep me out. I remember that happening a lot. To be honest I thought she was really cool and wanted to hang out in her room, which was also really cool. (I still remember the awesome bedspread and matching curtains that she had. I think my mom might have made them...)
Thankfully that stage passed and when she went off to college she only became cooler. When she would come home for vacations she would always bring me a bunch of teen magazines, tapes she made of songs on the radio, and videos of MTV music videos. Thinking about it now I am amazed at how much time she put into those presents. To a sheltered teen living in China these were my only link to American culture and I read, listened, and watched them over and over again. They made me feel cool.
My sister has always been concerned about me. It is amazing to be cared for by someone who just wants the best for me and wants me to be happy. She really loves me for who I am. That doesn't mean she doesn't see my faults, and, being my sister, she is not afraid to let me know how I can change. She is not afraid to push me. Often, right out of my comfort zone. But, since she is my sister she can get away with it.
There has never been a time in my life when she hasn't been there for me. I can share everything that is going on in my life with her and I always know that she has my back. It is amazing to me how blessed I am to have her as my sister.I feel like I could go on and on about how amazing she is.
My sister is a wonderful person. She is extremely intelligent, kind, and has such a compassionate heart. She inspires me every day with her love and desire for God. She is brave, adventurous, and I can't wait to see what lies ahead for her. I am so honored to be able to walk next to her through this life.
I love you bean.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Sick days
Well, it has been a while since I have blogged. In all honesty I have some great excuses.
Excuse #1) Last week was pretty busy in terms of school work. I had my first paper for class due and also a bunch of reading for class. This class is much more intense than the one I took last semester, that is for sure.
Excuse #2) I have been sick. The kind of sick that drags on and on and morphs from one thing to another. I had a cough then a cold then maybe an ear infection? No, just kidding it is still just a cold. Maybe a cough again? Perhaps something like a sinus infection? No, we will just stick to a cold. But, maybe we will throw in an ear infection just for kicks at the end, we shall see.
So, I think those are pretty good excuses. Also, February is making me depressed. Endless days of chilly weather and mostly dreary days. Snow. Sigh.
In short, I am unmotivated and disheartened.
Hopefully things will perk up soon!
Excuse #1) Last week was pretty busy in terms of school work. I had my first paper for class due and also a bunch of reading for class. This class is much more intense than the one I took last semester, that is for sure.
Excuse #2) I have been sick. The kind of sick that drags on and on and morphs from one thing to another. I had a cough then a cold then maybe an ear infection? No, just kidding it is still just a cold. Maybe a cough again? Perhaps something like a sinus infection? No, we will just stick to a cold. But, maybe we will throw in an ear infection just for kicks at the end, we shall see.
So, I think those are pretty good excuses. Also, February is making me depressed. Endless days of chilly weather and mostly dreary days. Snow. Sigh.
In short, I am unmotivated and disheartened.
Hopefully things will perk up soon!
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