Beans.

Living as a grad student's wife has taught me several things. I will list a few of them.
1) Never question the amount of books your husband buys on Amazon.
2) Mentally prepare for finals week at the beginning of each semester.
3) Always have coffee on hand.
4) Try your best to keep to a budget.
This last one is what I am struggling with now. Since I only cook vegetarian I want to fill the house with all sorts of amazing fruits and vegetables. Unfortunately, these tend to be a little pricey.
Also, I don't want us to eat the same things over and over again, which is what tends to happen. I fall easily into pasta ruts and happily stay there.
What scared me most about becoming vegetarian was that we would become more breadatarians or cheesatarians. Because that is easier. And I don't love salad. So I always have to be on watch, because if I let my guard down for even a day suddenly I realize that I have gone several meals without eating a vegetable. Which defeats the point right? Right.
But how do I put together delicious and healthy meals on a tight budget? I think I have found the answer.
Beans.
Filling, healthy, rich in protein. They really are magical. So, to be even more money savvy I am cooking up dried beans in the crock pot today. This is something I saw my mom do hundreds of times. I grew up on these beans. But have never done it myself because, well, let's face it...I'm rather lazy. Today that all changes. Today my beans will cook diligently while I am at work and I shall come home to a pot of goodness. At least this is my plan and if I somehow screw up slow cooked beans then I have other things to worry about.
I know beans will not solve all of my dilemmas; I still need to figure out how to incorporate more veggies. But, I will leave that to another time and just enjoy eating burritos, for the next ten meals...

Bitter Cold

As I am on my second winter in Pennsylvania I decided that snow boots needed to happen. So after searching everywhere for the perfect pair I finally found them at Payless. That was surprising to me.
So it snowed (a tiny bit) yesterday so I thought it would be the perfect excuse to try them out. By walking to work, which takes about forty minutes.
The walk itself was great. I really enjoyed it. The fact it was 21 degrees and felt like -5 and there were 45 mph wind gusts made it a little bit arctic feeling. At times I wondered how cold your legs have to be before they freeze and fall off. At other times I wondered if I stopped at some strangers house and asked if I could just warm up there for a minute if that would make me weak. Either way I made it successfully, with bright red checks and bright red legs.
My husband was a star and picked me up after work so I didn't have to make the return journey.
That was this years first winter adventure.

Months later...

I am so ashamed that it has been months since I have written here. Although I can only think of maybe four people who will read this, I started this because I wanted an outlet for my thoughts during this time in my life. So here we go again, maybe 2012 will be a better blogging year for me!
I must admit I follow quite a few fashion blogs. Part of me loves looking at the clothes, but mostly it amazes me that these women have the energy, desire, (money) and creativity for these amazing outfits. Sometimes I want to step into their lives. Because they seem very glamorous. Why do they all live in interesting places that have great travel spots just a day drive away? How do they have the time to take so many random day trips? I would be lying if I said that these fashion blogs were not extremely influential in the start up of own little blog. So if one day a picture of me in some outfit sneaks onto this site, don't be too surprised :)
In other news, the Spring school semester has started and I am so excited to take another class. The class I am taking is small, I think only five or six students, so that should be wonderful. Funny how that appeals to me now. My first year of college I went to a tiny university and my largest class was maybe twenty-five students and my smallest was seven or so. I hated this. After coming from a small high school all I wanted was to get lost in a sea of students. I didn't want the teacher to know my name or call on me specifically. I wanted to sit in the back and hide and skip class occasionally without anyone knowing. So I transfered to a State school where I could do just that. And it was wonderful.
Now, however, I love small classes. Partly because I have become more chatty in class and want to have the opportunity to show off all of the great knowledge (ahem) that I have to my fellow classmates. And partly because I feel like I gain more from the class.
It all starts tomorrow and I hope it goes well. To those few readers out there...I will try and keep you updated!

Change of Speed

Things have changed so much since my last post. Now it is the beginning of September, school is back in session and my life has calmed down so much.
Now I am working one job that is just 30 hours a week and taking a graduate level class. I never thought I would want to get a masters degree, but here I am! We will see what happens with it.
So my goal now is to blog regularly and work on my writing. I have more time on my hands and it feels both great and I am little unsure of what to do with myself.
One really positive aspect is that I have more time to spend on the apartment, which is something I have really been wanting to do. I got to "redesign" our bathroom. (Can't really do much since we are renting, but new towels and a new shower curtain go a long way:). Also, I have the energy to actually clean! Which is great. The highlight of it all is having time to cook and bake. Today I made tortillas, my mom's recipe, which are the tastiest tortillas in the world. My husband likes them, but since he didn't grow up on them like I did he is not as enamored.
We have decided to adopt a vegetarian eating style, which is kind of exciting, and challenging in a good way. I always thought I would just end up eating bread if I ever did that, but this has actually forced me to spend time and effort finding healthy recipes. Here are a couple favorites from these past couple weeks;
black bean and corn enchiladas and tuscan pasta with tomato-basil cream.
I hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day!

Stress

To begin with I am sitting on the couch watching Jurrasic Park, which brings back so many memories of when I was a kid, trying not to think about the week ahead of me. My husband is in the midst of final papers and projects. I feel so bad for him and how emotionally, physically, and mentally drained he is. But he is pushing through and getting everything he needs to done. I am so unbelievably proud of him!
I am trying to finish up my AmeriCorps hours, or at least the bulk of them, so that I can start my new job part-time tomorrow. This job is a blessing, but there is a lot of stress involved. So between me working endless hours and my husband working endless hours we have endless stress hovering around us.
This is not fun.
And causes tension and fights.
On a good note, soon school will be finished for the semester and year 1 of grad school will be done! Really amazing how time does fly.
But the point is that finals time is an incredibly stressful time. (I had blocked out how hard it was at the end of last semester). The goal is to remember that there is an end and to hang on.

A good song for a rainy day

I had heard this song before, but it had never really stuck with me. The past couple days have been rainy and dreary and this song makes me feel a little more cheery.
Agnes Obel- Just So

Questions

Sometimes interactions with certain people make me unsure of myself. This weekend I had a few of those. My husband helped put on a conference with some incredible authors; none of whom I had heard of, but all very interesting none the less. I attended a couple of events with him and could not help feeling a little bit out of my element. For the first time in a long time I could not think of anything to say to these people. Usually I am good at small talk. Getting people to open up and be chatty isn't something I struggle with. But I struggled at these events. Maybe it was because they all were really smart. Maybe it was because they were all huddled around in tight groups drinking wine. Or maybe it was because I didn't have anything in common with any of them! I have never been one to truly have a sense of belonging, but there is nothing like being in a room of Phd grad students and professors to really make me feel set apart.
In truth it wasn't all that bad. Other than some socially awkward moments (which shall not be discussed here) things were fine. However, late last night, after leaving one of the events, I laid in bed wondering if I was good enough. Do I seem silly around these people? Am I someone that my husband would feel proud to have around his friends? Am I sophisticated enough to be friends with these people? It has been a long time since I have felt that way and it didn't feel good. Insecurities that I thought I had left in high school might always lurk around my life.
Last night I didn't come to any earth shattering conclusions, but did have a great conversation with my husband who assured me that I could be a sophisticated Phd student if I wanted to. I have all the skills and abilities, but am strongly lacking in any form of desire. And it is true. I am happy with who I am right now and what my life is about. Maybe one day I will get a Phd or maybe I won't. I have great friends and family who know me and respect me for who I am. I also am blessed with an amazing husband who loves me because of who I am.
What is better than that?