Changes

This past month has been a flurry of activity. It has left my husband and I exhausted, but unfortunately instead of having time to recover we are both thrust into situations that are the opposite of rest. My husband started his third year of grad school today and I started a new full-time job. Both of these are wonderful things and I am so thankful to have this new job, but starting a new job is always overwhelming and I feel like I am coming into it empty and burned out. Looking and my bleary eyed husband across this small round table at Starbucks, I think he feels the same way about this new semester.
Let me bring (all 3 of you) up to date....
In the beginning of August we were called by our landlord and asked to move in two days, instead of the next week, which was what was originally planned. This meant that we had to pack up our apartment, find people to help us, and move in a frantic rush. I'm glad that we were able to just get it done, but it was physically tiring to say the least!
Then, just a couple days later, I was called in to interview for a new job. I got the job! But only had two weeks before I needed to start. So, I spent two weeks trying to wrap up my old job, find a replacement, and then train her.
I started my new job last Wednesday and after three days of training was on my own for the first day today. I am so happy to be working at this job and I think it is going to be fantastic, but sort of feel like I am floundering at the moment. Where do I even begin? There are many aspects of this job that make me uncomfortable, ex. calling people I have never met to discuss their children, or driving places I have never been with strangers who I am responsible for. But, since I have experienced these things before I know that they will challenge me and I will grow from them. I am just trying not to think about it right now...
On the bright (er) side. We finally got a kitty! We got her from a animal shelter, so she is rather skittish. I think she was a stray. So far she has spent the past two days either in a crate or in a closet. I think she sneaks around at night, so that is good. We are really hoping that she warms up soon :/
It is nice to have something soft and purring around however and she is very sweet.
We shall see!

Soon

I have been thinking quite a bit about our upcoming move. I have to say what I really want to do is buy a bunch of new furniture and art and lamps and little decorative items. Alas, with our meager budget that isn't exactly affordable. I wish I was one of those people who loved to hunt around in thrift stores, but I hate to say that I am more of a Target shopper. Maybe I can change?
What is exciting is that we will have so much more room to play around with. I haven't bought anything for our apartment in a really long time because there isn't anywhere to put anything else. Anything I buy just becomes clutter or in the way. One thing I am excited about is having a dining room table again. Right now our table is used mostly for stuff that has no where else to go. Like mail or books. It is amazing how quickly the pile builds. Then, come dinner time, the idea of actually figuring out where everything should go is too overwhelming and we usually just eat at the coffee table. So, having space to put a little shelf or side table just for the purpose of the "things that have no proper place to live" will be wonderful. Then I will reclaim the dining room table for food eating only.
There are several other things I want to buy like this a couple of these and this for our patio. I have many ideas...needless to say I am excited. And last, but not least, fingers crossed that this will also happen ;).

Heat

The heat of summer is officially upon us. For some reason during the freezingness of winter, when I am complaining and wishing desperately for summer, I don't remember these really hot and humid days. Also, it is 8:30 in the morning. And I am already feeling the heat. Part of the problem is that our living room wall (which is also a giant window) is where the sun, as it rises in all of its glory, beams in ferociously. Making a hot and sticky start to the day.
In better and more positive news...we are moving in just about a month. And I am fairly sure, if I am remembering the layout correctly, we will not have this whole sun problem. So that is exciting. But doesn't really help when I am desperate for a cup of coffee, but know that after the first sip I will start sweating. What about making it an iced coffee? (you say) Well, just not worth it if it isn't cold brewed (says the ex-barista).
Today is the 4th of July and also a Wednesday. So, I am taking the day off of work, which is something I hardly ever do for holidays like this. But it is good to take a day off of work to spend with my hubs every now and then.
I suppose that is all there is to say. Happy 4th of July!

Blueberries and Fireflies

Well, it is finally summer and the joy that brings me is almost too hard to describe.
It has been a couple months since I have updated this blog and truthfully I almost wrote a couple times, but couldn't think of anything to say. I think this was mostly due to the fact that this past spring was really hard for me. I felt myself spiraling farther into negativity and bitterness with each passing week. I am generally a positive-glass-half-full type of person, so seeing myself get caught up in the other direction was scary.
Thankfully, time and encouraging people in my life helped me get out of that slump and here I sit. Ready to write.
Today is the most beautiful day. There is no humidity, which, in my opinion, can be the death of a pretty day, and the birds are going crazy. One thing I do like about this little town is that there are a ridiculous amount of birds, bunnies, groundhogs, and squirrels. It is a little bit like living in a Disney movie at times. Also, fireflies. Or lightning bugs, as I used to call them growing up. It is amazing how much more magical night becomes when you see little flashing bugs.
Another element of summer that I am enjoying is fruit. My husband has been away for the past month so my diet has consisted of mostly fruit and salad. I have to say that usually I am a banana and apple kind of a girl, but with all of the peaches, blueberries, and strawberries around I have definitely expanded my horizons. Current obsession is blueberries. At first I would put a delicate scoop on my oatmeal in the morning, but now  I have begun snarfling them down by the handful (yes, snarfling). Also, the desire to make baked fruit items has increased exponentially. I actually made a strawberry coffee cake the other day spur of the moment.
I have to say that I am very excited about all the upcoming warm days and firefly filled nights.

Is it worth it?

I don't want to do two spring related posts in a row, but it is hard not to when birds are tweeting outside my window and the sun is beaming in. It almost makes up for the fact that I got one less hour of sleep last night :)

I would like to begin this post with a question. Is grad school worth it?
This is a question I have gone back and forth on in the past couple years. I have to admit that more often than not, I think it isn't worth it. It isn't worth the endless hours of work that my husband has to do. It isn't worth him taking ONE day off in the past three months (that includes weekends). It isn't worth the endless pressure and stress that he is constantly under.
Or is it?
This is definetely one of those situations where in five years we will have a much better idea of if it was worth it or not. Unfortunately, while in the midst of it, it is really hard to see outside of this endlessness.
I guess we will find out in the days, months, and years to come!

Spring?

It is finally March and I couldn't be happier! Although this winter was warmer then last winter it hit me harder this year somehow. I miss warm sunshine. Not the weak sun with the blasting cold wind that seems to be all to common around here. I miss taking walks around the neighborhood soaking up warmth.
But, it seems that Spring is on its way! Birds have started tentatively tweeting, a bunny has been spotted in the grassy area by our apartment (although he only comes out at night, which seems odd) and it is supposed to be 60 degrees in a couple days (I have my doubts about that one, but hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised:). What I am anxiously waiting for are the little weedy flowers that start sprouting up as a first sign of spring. So far, there is not a green thing in sight, but I will keep you updated.
This week is Spring Break. Last year we went to visit our family in New Mexico for Spring Break and I can't help thinking about how nice that was. Unfortunately this year it made more sense for us to just stay put. I keep getting all annoyed that I don't get to take any time off of work, but then I realize that just because my husband is on a university schedule doesn't mean that I am too! To be fair, he doesn't get any time off either. He has papers to write, presentations to prepare, and exams to grade. Poor guy, he is the one who really needs a break. Who ever said grad school was a piece of cake? I am pretty sure no one ever did.  

Worlds

I was going to share a poem with you all today. One that I had written a few years ago and recently found in the deep dark recesses of Facebook. But, I have been thinking lately about how once you put up something on the internet it is no longer yours. All of my words and stories can now be copied and taken by anyone who might stumble across this little blog. Not that the poem I was going to share was worth stealing, but one day if I discovered it posted elsewhere I think my heart would break.
Another thing I have been thinking about is the title of this blog and how I haven't actually been talking about my life as the wife of a grad student. So, maybe I will share a little of what is going on with that now. 
My husband is about to take his Candidacy Exam. What the heck is that? (you may ask) It is the first of two big tests he has to take in his program. His second test will be his Comprehensive Exam, and that will be next Spring and much more of a nightmare than this one. That is the one that everyone really freaks out about. Because if you fail that one you may have another chance to take it, but if not, you are done for.
Back to the test at hand. I have absolute and full confidence that my husband is going to rock it. He is a really brilliant man and has so much knowledge about what he is studying. It is rare to see him not have a good response to a question.
So, his test is this Friday and it is hard watching him stress out about this and worry that he won't pass. Also, I'm not really sure how to help him. I am really good at taking care of him; making sure we have food and our house is (relatively) clean (at the very least in a livable state). I do the laundry every now and then. And I do my best to make sure we have dinner every night :) But, these are not things that help him feel confident and ready to face his professors, who often seem to be out for grad student blood.
This is the part of grad school that no one talks about. How can you help your studious spouse when you spend the majority of your time living a completely non-scholastic life? I feel like we live in three different worlds. I live in one, he lives in another, and we share the third. It is hard for both of us to relate to the other one's world because they are so different. Thankfully we have one world we share together and although that world is usually affected by the stresses and difficulties from the other two worlds, we do have some pretty great times. When I look at other grad student couples, I don't know many and it makes sense why, I imagine them having an easy breezy time. Maybe we just don't know how to handle it yet? Maybe we are not mature enough as a couple to have it all figured out? These are things I wonder. But hopefully as time goes on we get better at this (at life?) and become stronger for it.